The Best Man
by vanillamilk
Summary: The night before James and Lily’s wedding, Sirius is afraid of losing his friend. (jpsb, sbrl SLASH)


Sirius looked up from the slightly yellowed cards clutched in his right fist at the man sitting across from him, only he wasn't a man… not _yet_. He was still a boy. They were all still boys. All four of them were – huddled round the small makeshift table inside Sirius' East-London flat, the dusty light from the four mismatched lampshades that lay in each corner of the room making the place look dejected and grotty, in a way. Empty and half full bottles of beer stood scattered across the table, huddled between poker chips and cigarette butts, moisture rings and playing cards. The law said they were old enough to be drinking, but Sirius was determined they were still boys.

Boys didn't get married. Men did.

"I'll never understand this game," Peter whined, slapping his cards down on the table causing Remus to hiss as his glass of water wobbled precariously on the uneven wood. "Remind me why we're playing again?"

"Because it's a man's game, Wormy," James said heartily, swigging his beer and making a show of slamming it back down on the tabletop, emitting another small whimper from Remus as he tried to rescue his water from crashing to the floor. "And it's my last night as a free one! God knows Lils won't let me do anything like this."

Sirius watched as Remus shifted uncomfortably on his seat, rearranging his cards while he eyed his small pile of chips dubiously. "I… I fold," He muttered, throwing his cards on the table and clutching his drink between both hands. His _non-alcoholic drink_, Sirius thought with a small smirk.

"Righto, so it's between me and you, Prongsykinns," Sirius said, winking at James.

_Between me and you. It's always between me and you, James. What happens after tomorrow?_

Exhaling through clenched teeth and raising his eyebrows, James spread his cards across the table, pushing an over-excited Peter out of his way as the shorter boy tried to see what he had. "Padfoot?"

"Good hand," Sirius commented, raising an eyebrow. Remus coughed awkwardly. Pushing his cards forward, he fanned them out across the wood, hand dipping into some spilled beer. "But not good enough, my friend!"

Grinning madly, James feigned an annoyed sigh and sat forward, pulling his wallet from his back pocket and throwing over a few glittering galleons to Sirius across the table, who deftly caught them in his fists and shoved them into his jeans' pocket. "Good game!" James laughed, finishing off his beer. "More beer? More _water_, Moony?"

"No I'm fine, thanks." Remus said sarcastically, taking a gulp from the water and placing it back on the table.

Sirius sucked in a breath and reached over to playfully punch the other boy's shoulder. "You live life a little too dangerously, Moony… another beer sounds champion, mate." He said to James, motioning his empty bottle.

As James stood up to get the drinks, Sirius hesitated before standing too, ruffling Remus' hair as he walked by and followed Prongs through the tiny doorway and into the kitchen. Closing the door behind him, he watched as the other young man bent over the small fridge and rummaged out three bottles of beer, placing them onto the countertop in three separate 'chinks'.

"Not long to go now, Prongs," Sirius said, his tone rather clipped. James didn't notice.

"Christ, I'm bricking it," James muttered, opening the top drawer beside the sink and searching through the mass of forks, knifes and spoons until he found the bottle opener. "Y'know, I keep thinking everything's going to go wrong, Padfoot. Starting with little things like… what if I forget the hanky in my suit? Or… what if I don't remember to brush my teeth? Or forgetting to pick up _my mother?_" He turned, wide eyed, the bottle opener clutched between white knuckles. "What if I say the wrong name or something?"

Sirius laughed and stepped forward, gently prying the opener from James' fingers. "You're not going to say someone else's name," Picking up a bottle and opening it, he handed it to James while reaching out to firmly but soothingly rub his shoulder. "You're in love with Lily, nothing else is going to be on your mind except for her and how beautiful she'll look."

James swallowed, his eyes flickering downward. "She's two months along."

Sirius blinked, his hand automatically tightening on his friend's shoulder. "What?"

"She's going to have a baby, Sirius."

_So. This is what it feels like when your heart ceases movement._

"That's… that's fantastic, Prongs, congratulations." Sirius said, his voice cracking as he pulled the smaller man into a hug, squeezing his eyes shut. He felt James sag against him, the hard edge of the bottle rubbing against his back as the man's arms looped around his shoulders.

"I'm going to be a Dad." James whispered.

_He's going to be a Dad. A Father. The One With All The Responsibility. Why, is this the end of the Marauders as we know it?_

"Sirius?" James asked after a moment of silence. Sirius' hands were still clutched tightly around the small of James' back. "S-Sirius?" James asked again, a slight waver in his voice.

"Is this why you're getting married?" Sirius heard himself ask. He almost felt James' fingers tighten their grip on his shirt.

"What? _No!_" James said furiously. "Of course not… I love her… we love each other!"

Sirius pulled back and felt his back hit the sink behind him. "I know you do," He said, voice small. He didn't even realise how hard his eyes stung until he opened them. "But you love us. You love the Marauders," He faltered slightly. "You love _me_."

James' soft blue eyes closed painfully for a long second before he stepped forward and brought his hand up to brace Sirius' neck, dark shards of hair falling between his fingers. "I'm not leaving any of you, you know I won't. I couldn't, Padfoot. You know that."

Sirius sighed and leaned his forehead in against James'. When he was this close he could almost taste the sweet honeyed scent of the beer glistening on the other man's lips. "Just… just promise me you won't go all soft on us, Prongs, we have enough of that crap from the Moon boy." Sirius said, stifling a weak chuckle.

"Soft?" James said gently, his fingers smoothing over Sirius' skin. "If this isn't a 'soft' moment, then I don't know what is!"

"Jamesy!" Sirius whined, nudging the other man forward a little.

"Alright, alright," James sighed. Sirius bit his lip, his eyelids fluttering as he felt the soft puffs of breath from James' words blowing over his lashes. When his eyes finally did close, James kissed him.

Oddly, the kiss didn't come as a surprise to Sirius. It was soft and tender, a 'closure' kiss, if you will. Delicate press of lips and mutual meeting of tongue tips, it was chaste yet deeply amorous in an unspoken, concealed way. It was over within twenty seconds, even though it felt like an eternity.

James' hand slid off from Sirius' throat and he took a small step backwards. "I promise I won't go soft, Padfoot. Now, go get Moon boy. The poor bastard's probably being bored to death by Wormtail's speech rehearsing."

Sirius frowned slightly. _Go get Moony…?_

But before he had a chance to ask what James was on about, the other man had grabbed the remaining bottles of beer with a barely concealed grin and walked out of the room. Placing a hand on his tingling lips, it was then that Sirius felt his heart start up again, an odd feeling of revelation washing over him.

-end-


End file.
